What is ‘benching’? The new dating term you might have been a victim of – and the signs to look out for
If you’re a singleton nowadays, it can be hard to keep up with all the latest tech and the slang we use to describe our dating lives.
There’s Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Match.com – and that’s just when it comes to meeting people.
When you find a date there are so many ‘labels’ you can find attached to a budding relationship.
‘Facebook official’, ‘friends with benefits’, ‘no strings attached’ are all things we’ve come to recognise.
On the other side of the coin, there are the not-so-nice terms which have gained popularity. ‘Ghosting’ is the practice of ignoring someone to fade them out completely.
Jason writes how he would receive texts from the man he was seeing but when it came to meeting up and going on dates, plans always seemed to miraculously fall through.
It wasn’t until he found himself inadvertently doing the same to another person that he realised what was going on.
Jason compares it to a sports team. While this person doesn’t quite know if they want to date you (or ‘play in the team’, so to speak) they don’t want the possibility of dating you to disappear forever.
So he or she puts you on the bench while they make their mind up.
They’ll continue to WhatsApp you, like your Facebook statuses, ask you how your weekend was – but they won’t commit to making an effort to actually see you.
Jason says: “It’s despicable, manipulative, selfish behavior — and something we’re all doing.”
Have you ever been ‘benched’? Share your experiences using the form below or email email@example.com
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